Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Oceans 13 or something like it.

Finally a theft worthy of a movie. I don't know how many movies I have watched that involve some elaborate plan to steal millions, billions, or a bazillion dollars (pinky pointed at a 30 deg angle towards my nose). Movies make most of us look, well, less than intelligent when it comes to planning a major theft. There was the Great Train Robbery with David Nivens and most recently Entrapment with Catherine Zeta Jones-Douglas's buttocks, and Oceans 11 and 12 with G.C. and the boys. These heists were well planned and went off with the suspense and drama that we are accustomed to in movies. However, we rarely hear about them happening in real life. (Damn authorities with their rules....)

We get alot of bank robberies in the U.S. but we get very few heists. The main differences between the two are the value of the stolen goods, the level of skill involved, and the amount of forethought put into the theft.

Any moran dressed as a clown or talking into a cellphone can walk into a bank with the obligatory "I'll be the guy robbing you now" sign and walk away with something whether it be cash or new stainless steel bracelets. The downside to this is that people pretty much know that you're there, and what you are up to. Also there's a good possibility of people getting hurt. Never a good thing.

Heists involve so much more. But what they require most is some sportsmanship, a damn good intellect, and a detailed plan. And by plan, I mean something more than, "I'm going down to the Farmer's and Mechanic's Bank of Lagrange with little Nathan Jr and rob me some Hayseeds!"

Planning is essential. Planning is for winners. Planning means you already anticipated everything that could possibly happen and will be exiting with the goods. You can almost feel the heat from the sun and smell the salt air on of that distant tropical beach where you, Shamus, and Ted and a really short Asian guy will sip pina coladas and talk about that one time in bandcamp...Err...I mean how you pulled one of the greatest heists ever.


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